Thoughts from Quarantine (Submitted by David Reimer)

• I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom. 
  
• I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe. 
  
• I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. 
  
• PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom. 
  
• I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone 
  
• This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot. 
  
• So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them? 
  
• Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business. 
  
• I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear? 
  
• Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun. 
  
• Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended. ​