St. Aidan’s Sermons – Winnipeg, Manitoba
Les Kovacs, June 19, 2011
Trinity Sunday (Father’s Day); 8:30 & 10:00 a.m., Holy Communion
“Fatherhood”
Good morning, everyone. I’m very pleased to be able to speak with you on this Father’s Day, Trinity Sunday morning. As little two years ago, I very likely wouldn’t have been able to share this with you at all, but our Father God is a gracious and loving God, whose healing touch is more amazing than anything we can ask or imagine. So this will be part testimony and part sermon.
I was born in a little town in western Hungary in 1955. When I was about a year and a half old, the Hungarian revolution of 1956 broke out. After some initial success, the rebellion was brutally crushed by the Soviet army, and my parents joined the roughly 200,000 refugees that fled the country. As refugees, they left with little more than the clothes on their backs and the few possessions they could carry with them, but they felt the hope of freedom and a better life in the west was worth the risk. They were constantly pursued by soldiers and dogs as they fled, and often had to hide in the forest and abandoned buildings. Some 4,000 Hungarians were killed during these dark days, and somewhere in the confusion, my parents got separated. Eventually, my mom arrived at an Austrian refugee camp with me in tow, and little else. For several months, we waited for my father to show up, but he was never heard from again. With the help of the Red Cross, we made our way to Canada to start our new lives without my father.
From those very humble beginnings, let’s fast forward several years. My mom has remarried, and I have a younger brother and sister. Unfortunately, my stepfather was an abusive alcoholic, and our childhood was difficult. There was little laughter in our house, and good deal of fear and hurt. My stepfather never quite accepted me as his son. I have no fond memories of him teaching me to how to fish, or of him cheering me on when I played soccer, or when I had a part in the school operetta. The only time I ever felt the touch of his hand was when it was raised in anger. But, like most people in those circumstances, I just tucked those feelings of hurt and rejection away in my heart and carried on the best I could.
Now let`s fast forward again several decades, to just a few years ago. My mom has divorced and remarried again. My new stepdad, Syd, is a decent enough man, and we get along fairly well, but neither he nor my mom are Christians and they always baulk at any attempt on my part to discuss my faith and how they would benefit from a personal relationship with Jesus. But aside from that, we do all the usual things that adult families do.
Syd and I both really enjoy fishing, so one summer not long ago, I decided to try to improve my relationship with him by making arrangements for us to go on a Father’s Day weekend fishing trip, just the two of us. He seemed excited about it, and I was really looking forward to it. I was thinking that maybe we could make some of those father-son bonding memories that would bring us closer, and who knows, maybe I could even bring up the subject of salvation again. I was pumped. I made all the arrangements; reserved a cabin, rented a boat, bought the groceries, all the tackle, everything. I even left work early that Friday so that we could beat the traffic out of town. As I was driving to his place, I called Syd on my cell phone to let him know I was on my way (this was when it was still legal to do that). Syd answered the phone and said that he’d changed his mind, that he didn’t feel like going anymore. I said “What?! What do you mean you don’t feel like going anymore? Everything was all arranged.” He replied that it just seemed like it was too much trouble and since it was only the two of us, it really wasn’t that big a deal.
Suddenly, I was 9 years old again, being told “you’re not my real son”. All the rejection and pain that I’d thought I’d left years behind me, came crashing back. I was so hurt that I cried as I drove home that day. I was so angry that I didn’t speak to him again for over a year. But eventually, I took this newest hurt, and as I had done when I was child, I tucked it away in my heart, and carried on.
In Jeremiah 17:5, he warns us that “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from flesh”. When it came to the father figures in my life, I certainly felt cursed, but I was also shocked at just how much I still needed to have a father’s approval and affection. But, Jeremiah also wrote in verse 7 of that same chapter “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord”, and in Psalm 118:8 we read “It is better to trust in the Lord than to trust in humans”. At this stage in my life, I felt like I would never, ever experience a father’s love. That really hurt, and I poured it all out to the Lord in prayer. And the Lord, in His mercy, heard me and set about healing my heart.
I guess I should’ve known that He would because in Exodus 15:26 God says to His people “for I am the Lord, who heals you”, and we repeat nearly every Sunday morning in our Collect for Purity, “Almighty God, unto Whom all hearts be open, all desires known, and from Whom no secrets are hid”. He knows the secrets we keep hidden in our hearts, even those we keep hidden from ourselves. He knows the hurts we’ve endured, the scars we carry with us, and He wants to heal us, to make us whole again.
When Isabelle and Ivan Alum were here a couple of years ago during the Prophesy Conference, like many of you who stayed to have your prophecy told, I had mine spoken to me by Isabelle. She said many things to me, but one of the things she said was that God would show me what it meant to be a son, what it meant to have a father. When I heard those words, I was stunned. No-one else knew of these hurts, and the desire for a father’s love, that I had buried away in my heart. How could this complete stranger, who knew nothing about me, not even my name, possibly know these secrets that were buried so deep within me that even I never thought about them. As I stood there listening to her, I realized that God Himself was telling me that He would heal my heart.
A few months after the Alums were here, I attended a Promise Keepers men’s conference. I really enjoy these conferences, because I always come out of them feeling recharged and refreshed by the Holy Spirit. The last speaker of that particular conference took as his topic the parable of the Prodigal Son, but he examined it from the point of view of the father. The Amazing Father. He talked about how much the father had loved his son, how he had given his son everything he had asked for, and allowed him to go his own way, even though it broke his heart to see his beloved son leave. He spoke about how much the father had longed for his son to return. And when the son finally did return, how this father had seen him from far away, and had run to greet him and welcome him home with hugs and kisses and complete forgiveness. But how had the father seen his son from so far away, unless he was watching for him? He was obviously a successful man with fine clothes to wear, land to manage, livestock to tend, and servants to supervise. He had to be a busy man, constantly being drawn to the various duties of his life and livelihood, and yet he still managed to keep watch for the son he loved so well in the hope that someday he would return. How amazing it would be to feel that kind of love.
Then several Sundays later, our own Pastor Brett gave us a sermon on the very same topic of the Amazing Father, using the same perspective to show us how much our Father God loves us, and is watching and waiting for us to return to Him, that He might cleanse us of the dirt of this world and dress us in the fine clothes of His Grace. Hmm, I thought at the time. What an interesting coincidence.
And then, last May my family and I went to see a Michael W. Smith concert. It was great evening of music and worship. He played many of his hit songs, and the audience sang along with every one of them. In between songs, Michael would often pause to give us a little background on his next song, or he would tell us why it was important to him. Sometimes he would just offer up a prayer before going into the next set. During one of these little interludes, he started telling us how God has been guiding his life and career. He spoke about how when circumstances in his life were dark and challenging, or he felt like he’d lost his way and was feeling far from God, how God would guide him through these difficult personal and family issues. Michael spoke about how God continues to heal him of his various emotional and physical hurts, and He called God his Amazing Father. Well, was it just me, or was God trying to tell me something?
As I was mulling that over, I began to see some of the scriptures I’d been reading in a much more personal way. In Galatians 3:26, Paul wrote “You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus”, and then in chapter 4, verse 6 “Because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out “Abba, Father”.
In the Gospel of Mark at the baptism of Jesus, chapter 1, verse 11, we hear God saying “…You are my Son, whom I love, with you I am well pleased.” Then at the Transfiguration in chapter 9, verse 7, we hear God say again “…This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to Him”.
It took me awhile, but I realized that what God was saying to me, to us, is that we are by Grace what Jesus is by nature. We are healed and made whole and called the children of God through our faith and obedience to Jesus Christ. Through Him, we are all sons and daughters of God, our Abba, Father.
But why should God want to heal us of our hurts and disappointments? Is it because he feels sorry for us, or because He’s tired of hearing our prayers of supplication? No. It’s because He loves us, and His desire is to see us restored to our full potential. He has a plan for each one of us. He wants to work in our lives and through our lives because the world needs us. Romans 8:19-21 says “The creation waits in eager anticipation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God”.
“Children of God” is not just some generic label we apply to ourselves that identifies us as believers in Christ. It means that we are literally and spiritually the sons and daughters of God, created in His likeness, heirs to His kingdom, with all the authority and responsibility to love and care for His creation. But, most importantly, it means that we are the most beloved creation of our Father.
Through this journey, God has helped me understand that the only real father I ever needed was the one who created me. The one who has provided for me my entire life. The one who sacrificed His only begotten Son that I may be made a new creation. He is my Father, who art in heaven. God wants us all to know that we are His children, that He wants to heals us and make us whole again, in order to accomplish His will for us. And as God, the Amazing Father, brings healing to us, His children, we can help bring healing to our world.
When I finally realized that, suddenly I was 9 years old again, riding on my Father’s shoulders. May God, the Amazing Father of us all, bring you the healing and blessings that I have found in Him. Amen
