St. Aidan’s Sermons
Winnipeg, Manitoba
Mrs. Eileen Dean, May 9, 2010
Third Sunday of Easter: 8:30 a.m. & 10:00 a.m. Holy Communion
A woman of noble character
Proverbs 31 10-31
My first thought when Brett asked me to consider speaking on this subject was – “Oh no – I wonder if he realizes that some women can’t stand Proverbs 31 – this lady is just such a paragon of virtue – we never feel we can match up!!
– I didn’t want to send the Mums home feeling miserable on Mother’s Day!
Some commentators think this passage may have been written by Solomon to his son, to guide him in his choice of a wife.
It was actually written as an acrostic poem. Each verse begins with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet, using the twenty-two letters in sequence. This arrangement means that there is not necessarily a logical connection between once verse and the next – thus, I don’t feel I have to go through it in order either!
Can one woman really be all of this?
The writer seems to doubt it – “Who can find such a woman?”
As I have thought about it, I like to see this as a coming together in one model woman of all the different potentials – all the possibilities that God put in women when he created them.
Let’s start with verses 16-18.
V. 16-18
she considers a field and buys it;
- out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
- she sees that her trading is profitable,
then further on…
- she makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants.
This lady is no dumb blonde – she’s a Responsible woman
– She is a businesswoman – she works outside the home. She earns a salary – she shows good judgement. She is successful and has confidence in her work.
Some people accuse the bible of being anti-women – or being written just for a bygone generation and culture – but here we have a picture of a strong, spirited, working lady – I don’t think you can get much more modern than that!
It is not for all – but for some women, they can never reach their God-given potential staying at home, and some have no choice because of the need to bring in an income.
Notice in verse 18 “her lamp does not go out at night!” Studies say that most working women still do the lion’s share of the housework, and more often the cooking and the washing too. Single mothers have no choice!
In v25, we read – “She is clothed with strength and dignity.” – This lady is no wimp.
Many of you women are clothed with that dignity and strength – you have or have had demanding, responsible jobs that have benefited the community.
It is not a piece of cake and as God’s people I think we should honour and seek to encourage you in your calling.
A remarkable thing about this lady, I think is that, in spite of all her abilities, she is still respectful of her husband.( In verse 23, we read that he was respected in the community – I don’t think he would have been if his wife had not respected him) – There’s no hint of her saying, “Now look here, Mate – here am I – working from morning to night and all you can do is ‘sit at the gate’ – how about a bit of a hand here?!”
One thing I have noticed in the media over the past few years is how often men are portrayed as being stupid, lazy and laughable. I wonder if you have noticed this? Take a look at some movies or TV shows or Ads with this in mind and you will see what I mean!
As with so much else that bombards us these days, we need to be careful as women that we are not influenced by this but continue to respect our husbands and help them to function in their God-given sphere, just as we do in ours.
Our Proverbs 31 lady is also a Ready teacher
– v. 26 “she speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction – (or the teaching of kindness) – is on her tongue.
Of course, I know that you working Mums are also teaching your children – but nowadays the stigma has often shifted to the stay-at- home Mum’s and they can be made to feel lazy and second best so I would like to encourage those of you who work only in the home that there is great value in what you are doing day by day. When the teaching of kindness is on your tongue, you are enabling your children to learn all they need to know about life in a wonderful atmosphere of love – even if you are just pushing trucks back and forth or having a dollies’ tea party!
And men – I hope you do not think this is just an easy option – there are many times of boredom and frustration with young children!
Our daughter, Sarah who has 4 small children wrote recently on her Facebook:
“Get ready, get kids ready, breakfast, exercise, make beds, laundry, groceries, – haven’t I already done this day? – the endless déjà vu of stay-at-home momming!” - anyone identify with that?
- with older children, many Mums are not only teachers but wise counsellors throughout a child’s most vulnerable years
In verse 15 we read: -
- “She gets up – (or rises up” – as several versions translate it) – while it is still dark and provides food for her family.”
She Rises up
We know that mothers can never just sit back and recuperate when they are sick – they have to carry on looking after the family. Motherhood sure helps to birth unselfishness in a woman! Many women with young children not only rise up early – they are up several times in the night too!!
Matthew Henry – in his commentary – refers to Proverbs 31 as a prophesy so I am going to think of this phrase in more of a prophetic sense.
I want to think of rising up while it is still dark as keeping going in times of darkness and struggle.
A bible woman who I admire is Deborah – she was a strong, brave lady and Judges 5 says that she rose up when times were dark in the land, she encouraged herself to be strong and to lead the people of Israel to victory.
In fairy tales it is the knights who are the brave ones and the women just go “Aaaah” and faint into their arms but many women do not have human arms to faint into and I think God has given us ladies this potential to be strong, to persevere – to rise up when times are dark.
I’m sure there are women here who have had to rise up while it is still dark and carry on.
- some may struggle with depression or sickness in the family.
- Some are widows or live with some of the debilities of old age.
- Others are in the so called ‘sandwich generation’ – caring for children and elderly parents at the same time.
- Some have been through difficult divorces – have struggled with being put down and rejected.
- Others have stayed in troubled marriages.
- Then there are also women who would love to be mothers but it has not happened and Mother’s day is a hard day to get through.
-and some would love to be both a wife and a mother.
It isn’t easy – sometimes the dark times can almost overwhelm us – but the truth is that it isn’t really about our great strength – as David realised in Psalm 18 – “HE (God)reached down from on high and took hold of ME – HE drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes who were too strong for me. HE brought me out into a spacious place.”
One of my big joys in England was watching all the little lambs. Poor John had to keep stopping the car for me to take pictures! We saw some being born in cold and beating rain, and they struggled to rise up on their little legs – would they survive?
– but we also saw the shepherd walking among the sheep, looking out for sick ewes or ewe’s who, for some reason were not able to adequately feed their lambs. We watched him catch the little lambs to give them a life saving bottle of milk. The Lord, our Good Shepherd is always watching over us and ready to take us by the hand and help us to rise up.
Perhaps some of you are struggling in the dark today. When we go through hard times that we don’t understand, we have a choice – we can become angry and turn away from God – I’ve certainly been there! – you should have seen those little lambs running and zig-zagging away from the Shepherd but he persevered and caught them and held and fed them, and they stopped fighting – and we too can yield to the God who wants to help is – to speak in our ear and remind us of His promises. In the Psalm today, we read that ‘even in darkness light will dawn again’ – for those who trust in the Lord – and ‘in the end, we will look in triumph on our foes.’ Our enemy loves the dark – wants us to stay there – BUT God can enable us to Rise up!!
v. 20 – “She opens her arms” – to the poor – she “extends her hands” – to the needy
this lady Reaches out – in love
As women, I believe God made us with this potential – to be full of compassion – particularly to our own families and often to people outside the family – to the poor and needy.
This mother also ‘watches over the affairs of her household’ – I love the thought that evokes. It’s like the picture of the Hen covering her chicks. As Mums we identify with that, don’t we? I remember the nights I stayed up looking out of the window, waiting for a teenager to come home, wondering where they were and whether they were OK. I wasn’t content until all the chicks were home!
‘Watching’ – This also reminds me of Jesus asking if the disciples couldn’t watch with him one hour. I did a lot of praying in those hours too.
We have a wonderful privilege as Mums and Grand-Mums to watch over our families in prayer.
Of course, this model lady is also Remarkably Creative!
- She works with distaff and spindle.
She makes clothes for everyone, things to sell and coverings for her bed.
She works with eager hands – she loves it! (v.13,19,22,24)
Don’t worry, Ladies – you won’t have to dust off your distaffs!!
Many of you have this seed of creativity within you that can burst out in all sorts of directions!!
Some of you love to paint pictures or to ice wonderful Birthday cakes.
Perhaps you arrange flowers? or scrapbook your memories.
Some quilt, knit or embroider or write poetry.
Others sing or play an instrument.
Perhaps you’re on the Altar guild or in the choir and using your gifts to bless us all.
I think we can include here how this woman “provides food for her family.”
A lot of you women are great cooks – and some have the gift of hospitality – wonderful gifts that bless others and brighten the world around us – God-given gifts!
(v.30) “Charm is deceptive, beauty is vain.
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised”
This woman has Inner Radiance
Studies have shown that the world of most teenage girls revolves around their friends – I’m sure many of you Mums could have told them that! – and if they have friends to whom body image and beauty is very important then they are more likely to develop a bad self-image or even some of the more serious conditions such as anorexia or bulimia.
One study found that 77% of teenagers between the ages of 12-14 considered themselves to be fat and ugly and got depressed by pictures of beautiful models.
When I was growing up, I had a brother who called me ‘big nose’ – I can remember as a young girl sitting in front of the mirror studying my face from all angles and dreaming of what a nose job could do!!
- To be sexy and gorgeous and to attract men is the aim of much advertising – it puts before us the lure of ageless beauty – new creams that will ‘reverse the ageing processes’.
If creams and serums do not work, then there is plastic surgery – a smaller nose can be obtained!
Yet – as christian girls and women, can we dare to be a Deborah who was a leader – not a follower! and seek the beauty we read of the 1 Peter:3 – ‘the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious to God.”
It doesn’t mean we have to look like frumps. Verse 22 tells us that this lady was clothed in fine linen and purple – in those days this would have been very elegant attire – or cool!!
- and if Christ dwells within us and the power of the Holy Spirit is overflowing in our lives, there will be an inner radiance that is very attractive.
v.25 is one of my favourite verses. “She can laugh at the days to come.”
She has learned how to Rest in God how to really trust Him with her life and her future.
She is free from worry and anxiety.
Although as women, we have this potential to rise up as a courageous Deborah – we also have an enemy who loves to push us right back down again by attacking us with fear!
1 Peter 3(6) – “you are (Sarah’s) daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” We also read in the bible that fear torments us and holds us in slavery (1 John 4:9: Hebrews 2(14) – but because of the death and resurrection of Jesus, we can be freed from our fears!
That’s fantastic news!
There were several years in my life when I dreaded the future. I was depressed and eventually in despair over our daughter’s chronic sickness. I believed in a healing God but our prayers did not seem to get above the ceiling and instead things seemed to get worse.
I lived in fear and my humour turned into cynicism and sarcasm.
Sometimes we can get into a negative mindset. I remember giving a balloon to a grandson and instead of looking forward to a time of playing with it, he just mumbled, “It’ll only pop!!” – about what I was like!
I haven’t time now to go into HOW God helped me through but I will say that it was not the situation He changed, but ME! He revealed His love to me in a new way, and freed me from so much fear – that I could trust Him with the future – with all the “what if’s?” – not that I don’t still get attacked from time to time, but I know God will help me through.
There is a verse over the fireplace in a Pub we visit in England that says,
Fear knocked at the door, Faith answered, No-one was there.
Maybe some of you struggle with this very thing. Have you been an “It’ll only pop” kind of person?
May God give you such a trust in His faithfulness that you too will be able to laugh at the future!
To conclude, I’d like to mention verse 28:
“Her children rise up and call her blessed
Her husband also, and he praises her.”
- they didn’t even have a Mother’s day – presumably they did it all the time!
Being a wife and mother is often a challenge – it’s great to be encouraged! – it makes us feel Refreshed and ready to keep going on.
So today we have a wonderful opportunity to bless and encourage our wives and mothers. I’m sure you’ve been doing that already today in your families – or will do it later.
- but I think it can go further than this: In verse 31 we read, “Let her works bring her praise at the city gate:” – the city gate – the heart of the community in that society. The community also encouraged her!
In Hebrews (3:13) we are told, as a church community to “encourage one another daily – as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness
Some women do not have a supportive family to encourage them – for various reasons – but God has built us into a church family so that we can step in and express a genuine appreciation to one another, and fill that gap!
People do not thrive without love and encouragement – this includes men too! So may we be that kind of community – a people so filled with the love of God that we will overflow in love and encouragement, and build one another up – not just on mother’s day – but all the time.
